Got bored and felt like LALA-ING :D

End Up Here - Cher Lloyd :')

ew.

You just disgusted me. Flirting with my friends and shit. How low can you get? I'm so fckn glad I've made the right choice. Goodbye to you boy. Fate will never bring us back together. Take care x

HAHAHAA I LOOK SO DIFFERENT!

true stuff.

Just smile through it all :)

A couple more hours, and he'll be 18. Funny how this day, right about one month ago, I was where I am right now, in my bed, trying to plan out the biggest surprise for him. In just one month time, who would have thought so much has changed. Now I don't even have the courage to just send a birthday message to him, lol. Well I just hope he'll have a great day/night, and please dad, watch over this boy <3 Anywaaaays, so like yesterday marked the day daddy passed away, hmmm let's see, 11 years? Woahhh, time flies! Miss you ba! :) I've been thinking alot, alot. No matter what happens, I'll just have to smile, smile through it all. Oh how I love my new motto, even though it's not very original but I know I can live it! :D term one's been shit as, let's just hope everything gets back on track term 2 :')

WITH MY GIRL ;)

just chilling.. ps. BOYS ARE ALL JERKS!

I WANT TO DIE. RIGHT ABOUT NOW.

OH MY FCKING GOD, CHI, FUCKING MOVE ON! IT'S OVERRRRRRRRR!!!!! :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

17.03.12

Today I have found out the answer, the answer to everything I've been searching for. At the age of 15, I have fell in love, and I have been heart broken. It's an experience that I will never forget. I always watched movies and seen people break down or throw tantrums over a break up. But I never understood the actual concept of it. Today, here, in my own house, I have felt every bit of pain to it. Listening to the song over and over again, questioning why? Why me? These tears are just running down endlessly. Who's here to wipe them away? He just left me, left me in this empty room alone, crying. He just turned and walked off. That, I will never ever forget.

I miss my real smile.

Letting Go by Maribelle Anes

change, I began with a brand new start to the feel of my broken heart I lost so many different people blame, i point my finger at the space and time ’cause you was always on my mind you were the only that made me fall I hate, the way you look right back at me and flash back the memories how does this make us equal? i’m ashamed, i bow my head down when our eyes meet cause baby you destroyed my sanity i can not believe just what you did to me I can’t let it take over my mind i gotta let you go cause you ain’t worth the fight i’m letting it go no looking back coz baby you’re the past i’ll find somebody that lasts longer theres no more pictures on my wall don’t want them anymore replace them with a love that’s stronger pain, i’m all about finding the cure, right about now i’m not sure where i should keep on searching strange, how you forget me just like that, all we’ve been through, it don’t mean jack i’m young so i’ll keep on learning my brain, hurts and is feeling way to small, I can not keep on holding on i feel like it is burning erase, i wanna try and remove it all my mistakes deserve some hope i still can not believe just what you did to me (oh) raise your hand if you miss somebody but you know that you can not trust nobody they say they are sorry but that ain’t the truth baby you know the deal you can only trust you but at the same time you be crying wishing that they’d come around but then again sometime a better person will be found the past is the past let the world take it’s course friends can change but you will find even more

Realization.

Feeling like shit so I'm gonna blog. Couldn't even open my eyes today, I think it was because I was crying a little too much last night lol. On my way to school, mum noticed how bad my eyes were, so she took me to bac si. He said to mum that he's gonna have to transfer me to the emergency dep at W/C hospital. I was like WTF HAHAHAH... why the hospital? Am I dying or some shit LOL They made me do some eye test shit, then they shoved these dye thing in my eyes and I was just laying there.. was a little scary but man, that crap stings like hell :( I'm pretty disappointed that the one who I want to hear from doesn't even know or care about me, and when I call him up, he's just having lunch with his friends. Yet, I thank the ones who were there texting me, checking up on me and even asked to visit me. Love you guys heaps! I guess I should be cheering up knowing how awesome the friends I have are and for the ones who don't care, well I don't need you anymore.

WHEN I WAS YOUNG AND HAPPIER

The End

Flicking back to old conversations. So much reminiscing. The times when your mum was trying to ask you for help with ESL, and I would tell you off for being impatient with her. The times when I would hassle you to open the door of your car for me cause you were meant to be the 'gentle man'. And when I was angry at you for using proteins when you're underage and so I went and tipped it all outside. HAHA thinking about it, I was really mean ayye ahhaa. Sigh... Today I walked from arndale to school. For some reason I took the same path that lead to your house. I wonder what will happen to us both now. We were meant to start saving up together. And remember the jar idea? Where you get to keep the jar but I get the key incase you get tempted. But honestly I was still worried that you were gonna smash it. I really wanted to redecorate your room aswell. Make it all princess looking and stuff haha. I guess thats gonna be someone else's job now. Seeing you today wasn't a good idea at all. Watching you cry was worse. I tried holding everything back til I stepped out of your car and turned the corner. I just wanted to collapse. The feeling of knowing that the person who once was yours has now got nothing to do with you. Lol yeah, it hurts.

YO, I ALMOST HAD A THREESOME LAST NIGHT.........BUT DAMN, I WAS JUST MISSING TWO PEOPLE! HAHAHAH